Pre-High Holidays Musings (part 2)

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The second thing Rabbi Riemer encouraged his congregants to say more often is “I love you”. To make his point Rabbi Telushkin narrates the following story:

Once, a man stood at the grave of his wife following her funeral. After
some time had passed the Rabbi who conducted the service gently tried to coax
the grieving widower back to his car.
“You don’t understand, Rabbi,” the man wept. “I loved her.”
“I know you loved her,” the rabbi responded, “but you really should go home
now and try to rest.
“But I loved her, Rabbi” the man continued. “I loved her…and once, I almost
told her.”

Of course this is exaggerated and meant to make us smile. However Rabbi Telushkin reminds us that it is important to utter these simple words every now and again to the people who are dear to us.

I once read of someone who always made sure he and his wife had not quarelled – or had made ammends if they had argued – before he left his home. He emphasized that we never know what the future had in store and he didn’t want to feel sorry for the rest of life in case anything happened to her.

This struck me as a very sound piece of advice and one that we can extend to parents, children and close friends.

Pre-High Holidays Musings (part 1)

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12 thoughts on “Pre-High Holidays Musings (part 2)

  1. Rabbi Telushkin never fails to inspire me. His prose not only applies to the Jewish community, but to everyone.

    We should never fail to acknowledge our caring, love and concern for others, each day of our lives.

    Thank you for this illuminating post. I enjoy your blog immensely.

  2. I absolutely agree with this sentiment. Me and my partner try to follow this golden rule, as well as not going to sleep without making amends if we have argued. You never really know what the future holds.

    Thank you for this post.

  3. Yes, yes, such good advice. Like Rachel, we also try not to end the day without resolving any disagreements. I sometimes wonder if saying “I love you” so much that it becomes rote would diminish its value, but I don’t think it works that way (as long as it’s meant when it’s said).

  4. My mother’s wisdom to me before I got married was to always kiss my husband goodnight and apologize for any hurts throughout the day. Something I’ve stuck to for 22 years!

    Shabbat Shalom

  5. this was lovely, beautiful and reflective. perfect for this time of year. someone just had a facebook post, ‘sign thing you are loved instead of i love you so the focus is on the receiver.” it felt just like the gentle reminder that this post is: love hard and say so!

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